Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to make friends?

tell a woman you love her and she says "i think we're just friends..."

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Whats the best way to stop a runaway horse?

Bet on it.

Whats the best way to get over a girl?

Get under another one

What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What's the best way to ensure that Asia's senior citizens' pension programs are financially sound?

Sufficient amount of youth in Asia.

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

What's the best way to stop a German train?

them nicely.

What is the best way to cut a mango?

With a knife!

What's the best way to get to the front page?

Post good stuff. Please up vote To FP!

What is the best way to receive downvotes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny! XD

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What's the best way to receive down votes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny! XD

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

What is the best way to determine if someone is ticklish?

Give them a "test tickle."

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What is the best way for a pet shop to get business?

Word of mouse.

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

What's the best way to wipe a computer server?

A cloth.

What is the best way to lose money?

A: Lend it to Greece.

What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

What's the best way to cross the border?

In the trunk of a car.

What's the best way to get home from school?

Don't go to school.

What's the best way to get a Punjab in India?

Hire a cunning linguist.

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What's the best way to make pants last?

Make the jacket first.

What's the best way to make a girl weak in the knees?

Kick em.

What is the best way to get over a guy/girl?

Truck.

What's the best way to break in a new pair of shoes?

Moonwalking

What's the best way to search a linen store?

Undercover.

What's the best way to grease a Ferrari?

Run over an Italian.

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity?

ON AN OPPORTUNITY

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

What is the best way to talk to a vampire?

By long distance.

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?

A: Leave it in the cow.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

What's the best way to pick up a woman?

Like a sixpack

What's the best way to see yesterday's front page ?

9GAG

What's the best way to get to the mental hospital?

Take the psychopath!!

What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?

By hare (air) mail.

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

What is the best way to get to Paradise?

A. Turn right and go straight.

What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?

Get married on his birthday.

What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on him

What is the best way to find out if someone is ticklish?

Use your test tickles

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

What is the best way to hunt bear?

With your clothes off

What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?

Don't bite any witches !

What is the best way to break a shield apart?

Seth Rollins with a chair

Whats the best way to castrate a priest?

Kick the alter boy in the chin

What's the best way to find out if you have ticklish balls?

Test Tickles

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What's the best way to lose some pounds?

Leave the EU.

What is the best way to speak to a ghoul?

A: From a long ways away.

What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box?

Body centered cubic

What's the best way to keep water from running?

Don't pay the water bill.

What the best way to cut down a tree?

A Suhhh Dude

What's the best way to make money with a plus-size modeling agency?

Life insurance policies.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

What's the best way to start an underwear presentation?

Start with a brief introduction.

What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it at you.

What's the best way to knock out a dog?

with a woofie.

What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey?

To flick through it as fast as possible.

What's the best way to wrap up 2016?

Debbie Reynolds Wrap.

What's the best way to ward off ghosts?

To which I replied: "a camera."

What's the best way to fix a horse race?

Evolution.

What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ?

On television !

What's the best way to dispose of bodies?

Put the ashes in the donuts.

What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)?

Cold turkey.

What is the best way to pick up American girls?

With a crane.

What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles?

Heir mail

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

What's the best way to sum up the 90's?

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945

What's the best way to bring out your inner child?

A coat hanger

What's the best way to hunt for deer?

Driving at midnight.

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

What's the best way to get the aristocracy out of France?

A chopper

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.

What's the best way?

I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"

What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

What is the best way to watch the "Saw" films?

In bits and pieces.

What is the best way to get called a ,"genius?

by losing a billion dollars in business.

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?

Finding out it's curable.

What do fish do when they have cancer?

Nemotherapy

Gum Jokes More Gum Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum!" The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How many people does it take to make a joke on /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

Why don't cows drink milk?

because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How do gingers make friends?

No seriously, im getting lonely.

What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's a good name for a cat?

Catsper.

Why are volcanoes mischievous?

Because they erupt to no good.

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!