What is the definition of masurbation?

Coming unscrewed

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What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

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What's the definition of eternity?

Four blondes waiting at a four way stop.

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!