What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

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What is a dog's favourite sport ?

Formula 1 drooling !

Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

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What do you call a server at a funeral?

A wake-tress

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

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Why are redditors American?

Because they always *tip*.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)