Tip Jokes

This site is supported by paid affiliate links. Learn more.

What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

4.7

Ceramic

Available on

How do Rabbis make money?

They keep the tips.

What did the leper give to the whore?

A tip

This joke may have profanity.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why can't Redditors lose their virginity?

They can never get further than the tip!

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Why are redditors American?

Because they always *tip*.

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes: So frightfully awful.. yet wonderfully spiffing

4.7

Paperback

Available on

How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

How much does a moil get paid?

A: Fifty dollars and a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What kind of car did the German cowboy purchase?

Audi *tips hat*

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

How do you prevent a canoe from tipping?

Paint it black.

Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One liners for kids: Kids Joke books ages 7-9 8-12

4.7

Paperback

Available on

Whats another term for acid?

Its on the tip of my tongue...

Why don't women tip bartenders?

They don't give a tip because they take the tip.

What's the worst part about working in a glory hole?

You only get paid in tips.

Why do waiters like a good Marth player?

He tips well.

How does a pirate tip his hat?

M'Hearty"

Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips?

Because he's a waiter. (lol)

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What do you call a cow on no legs?

Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs Your mom.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter.

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

4.8

Paperback

Available on

You might also enjoy:

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How can you tell there is a Canadian in your closet?

You can hear someone scooting aboot in it

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How does a mathematician ask for money?

Give me 10! dollars

Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa?

Because there's too many cheetahs!

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

How do you know your waitress is having a rough night?

She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

What do you do when you stub your toe?

Call a toe truck.

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.