Tip Jokes

What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?

Always tip your server.

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How do Rabbis make money?

They keep the tips.

What did the leper give to the whore?

A tip

This joke may have profanity.

Where do one-legged waitresses work?

IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why can't Redditors lose their virginity?

They can never get further than the tip!

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Why are redditors American?

Because they always *tip*.

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

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How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

Why do waitresses hate mohels?

Because they never leave a tip.

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

How much does a moil get paid?

A: Fifty dollars and a tip.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What kind of car did the German cowboy purchase?

Audi *tips hat*

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

How do you prevent a canoe from tipping?

Paint it black.

Whats another term for acid?

Its on the tip of my tongue...

Why don't women tip bartenders?

They don't give a tip because they take the tip.

What's the worst part about working in a glory hole?

You only get paid in tips.

Why do waiters like a good Marth player?

He tips well.

How does a pirate tip his hat?

M'Hearty"

Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips?

Because he's a waiter. (lol)

What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress?

The size of the tip.

What do you call a cow on no legs?

Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs Your mom.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long?

Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter.

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What's the difference between a fedora clad Brony and an egg?

The egg gets laid!

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

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What's the difference between art and junk?

A plaque.

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!

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What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?

Mom &amp Dad

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a canoe?

A canoe tips.

What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?

Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood.

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Why did the suicidal man cross the road?

Because he wanted to play chicken.

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight. :D

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What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first off, it's called a lamp...

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What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

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What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.