What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

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What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

What tense do Italians speak in?

Pasta continuous.

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What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

Why cant Mexicans smoke joints?

They aint ever got any papers

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What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

How do you confuse a Republican?

Wrap an unarmed black man in the American Flag