What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do girls always go in threes when using the restroom?

Because they can't even.

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

18 Inch Jokes More 18 Inch Jokes

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.