18 Inch Jokes

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

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What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite dessert?

Bear claaaaaarrrrrwwwwwwss!!!

What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Stillborn Jokes More Stillborn Jokes

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How is she?

Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical". Me: "Oh, you get used to that...".

Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?

A: He couldn't part with it.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's a similarity between obese people, and my relationships with women?

They don't work out.

Why are women so afraid of looking stupid?

Because they don't want the world to know!

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

What's a monsters favorite desert?

I-Scream!

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a convertable?

I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo.

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't use a pitchfork on the bowling balls.