What's a caterpillar afraid of?

A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the worst best joke I've ever heard)

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Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

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Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

What kind of beast is it you hear?

A duck. ... with hiccups.

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What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

What's a caterpillar afraid of?

A dogerpillar (Thank you Laffy Taffy for the worst best joke I've ever heard)

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What is a caterpillar scared of?

A dogapillar

What are caterpillars afraid of?

Doggerpillars.