What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What did the banana say to the apple?

Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between a Scottish guy and Mick Jagger?

One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.