What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

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What do you call an Eastern European cashier?

A Checkoutslovakian. (Better said than read)

What book you reading there?

Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one.

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How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.