Newspaper Jokes

Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

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Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Why did the newspaper cross the street?

To get to the other side of the story.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

What's black white and read all over?

A: A newspaper.

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How did the Reddit user read his newspaper?

ltORIGINAL&gt He Reddit

How can you find a fag in a newspaper?

It's not hard.

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

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Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

What do Germans and acetone have in common?

They are both good at removing the Polish!

What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?

Nailed it

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What part of your punctuality emancipates the Chinese?

Your Ti"ming"!

What do you call a Chinese conga line?

A Chu Chu train

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?

Wet

What has four legs and yells "Hodi doh, hodi doh?

Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about?

Michael Jackson

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

brothel sprouts!

What do you call a bird born in the 90s?

A millennial falcon.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

How was school?

4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Knock! Knock! Who's there! Beets! Beets who?

Beets me but I just forgot the joke!

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)

Plastic Jokes More Plastic Jokes

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head?

I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.