How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A: A dependent Claus.

What is a sailor's favorite letter?

From his wife back home

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a picture was taken with a GoPro?

because the owner will tell you

What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play?

Don't get your sheets dirty!"

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who's driving?

Immigration.

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas?

Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you get when The Dark Knight meets Edgar Allan Poe?

x-post from r/funny) Poetic Justice(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblrme6ovqdnAp1rzkyaxo1500.png)

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

Who did this?

1) When I was your age...

What's white, plastic, and not suitable for ages 5 and under?

Michael Jackson

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?

Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end