What's got two legs and bleeds?

half a dog Derek, s01e05

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other?

Irene

What do internet pirates have on their legs?

j.pegs

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

Why do women make better soldiers?

Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's half of 8?

5. The other half is 3.

What is the hardest part of cutting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.