What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

Why is a baby like an diamond?

Because it's a dear little thing.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of photograph does Arnold Schwarzenegger take?

Polaroids.

What kind of jeans do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim!

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back