5 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old without any friend?

A Sandy Hook Survivor

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What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food?

PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

Why couldn't the 5 year old go to the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13.

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun. You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun Edit: My 5 year old nephew loves this joke.

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

The water washes away her tears

How did the 5-year old girl fall off of the tire swing?

Somebody shot her.

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

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What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What do you say when your neighbor's 5 year old goes missing?

Nothing.

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins. &nbsp; Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Why don't we say Grace?

Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry

Why Did The Tiger Cross The Road?

Because there wasn't a Zebra crossing Sorry, my 5 year old son made me post this

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Why does tigger smell?

Becuase he hangs around with pooh! Had to share my 5 year olds joke..

What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends?

offensive A sandy hook survivor.

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)

What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

Why are you in such a bad mood?

5-year-old: I haven't had my coffee. Me: You've never had coffee. 5-year-old: Exactly.

What do you call a 5 year old's knees?

Kidneys! Ha! I'll be here all week folks.

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you make a woman blind?

Put a windshield in front of her.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So that they can get closer to the sink.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions?

A gallop poll.

Who's...(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)...there?

We're the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.

5 Year Old Son Jokes More 5 Year Old Son Jokes

What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food?

PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)

Why Did The Tiger Cross The Road?

Because there wasn't a Zebra crossing Sorry, my 5 year old son made me post this

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!

How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ?

She has a big "W" embroidered on her pyjamas !

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in the subway?

You take the letter "S" out of "sub", and the letter "F" out of "way".

Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrr!

How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?

9/11

School Jokes More School Jokes

Why did the piglets do badly in school?

They were all slow loiners.

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?

The multiplication table.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

Why does the food take so long at an Internet cafe?

Because the servers cannot be found