What's Red and crawls up your leg?

A Homesick Abortion.

This joke may have profanity.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a dog with no legs and balls of steal?

Sparkie.

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

Crawl Jokes More Crawl Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.