What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

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How do i know you're not 1 of them?

Were you bit ! What ! Do you not know what a hurricane is

How do pirates know they are pirates?

They think therefore they arrr

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What is the definition of masurbation?

Coming unscrewed

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

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How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why aren't you studying, Billy?

Billy's Mom asked him, "Well, why aren't you studying, Billy? You have an exam tomorrow!" Billy said, "Because I've already Reddit thrice."

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Where will you find the best jokes?

Not on /r/jokes

What is the best joke you have heard?

Any best joke

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How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Why is Papyrus taller then Sans?

Because Papyrus drinks plenty of milk.