What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds?

Exit the European Union.

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?

A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What happens when two dogs breed in a pound?

Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.

What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living?

A bad gambler

Fast Way Jokes More Fast Way Jokes

What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140?

Convert to kilograms.

What's the fastest way to get a ripped body?

Take highwhey.

Exit Jokes More Exit Jokes

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield

How do you know you're getting old?

When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm.