What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster ....

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

What does a tornado and a red-neck divorce have in common?

Either way someone's going to lose a trailer.

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb?

Tut-an-kham-en

What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!"

Muscle Jokes More Muscle Jokes

What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.