What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

What is the one thing you shouldn't do at a funeral?

The corpse.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does NASCAR really stand for?

Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

How do you tell the difference between a redditor and a MOBA player?

Ask them what OP stands for.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met?

Pork and bologne sammiches.