What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler?

You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler.

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How do you start an earthquake in East Africa?

Shake Djibouti.

When does karaoke start?

Him: Never. Me: But I put my "I Karaoke" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever.

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What is the worst thing about farming vegetables?

The wheelchairs are too expensive.

What is the worst thing about being an egg?

You only get laid once, and that's by your mother!