What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

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Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

About 16 seconds

Shatter Jokes More Shatter Jokes

Why doesn't a window scream when you shatter it?

Because it's paneless.

Why do ruler manufacturers make a big thing about them being shatterproof?

Was there a ruler shattering epidemic that necessitated this