Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Hydrogen hurt Iron?

Because he wanted to see him Sulfur.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a gun and a wife?

You can silence a gun.

How many hillbillies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2. A man, his wife, and his cousin

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the white girl die of alkalosis?

Because she was too basic

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Hows your headache?

Husband: She's fine.

Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say