What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

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How do you sink a norwegian submarine?

Swim down and knock on the hatch. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They do the same about swedes)

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

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What is written on Ronald McDonald's gravestone?

McRIP

What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?

Best vicious . . .

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How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...