Ugh Jokes

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

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What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

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Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the Russian President's favorite song?

Putin on the Ritz!" I'll be here all week guys.

What's an American's favourite day of the week?

Fryday.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes?

So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

How does a poor man watch TV?

with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.

Pho Queue Jokes More Pho Queue Jokes

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude

Caveman Jokes More Caveman Jokes

Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?

A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke?

He walks into a bra.

What do you call two black guys walking down the street?

Nothing. Are you racist or something?

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get if you cross goat DNA with human DNA?

I don't know, ask the Arabs!

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

Does anyone have a charger I could use "