What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What do blacks and bikes have in common?

They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

What do you call a fish that takes a selfie?

Selfish