What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

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What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

What do you call an uncertain insect today?

A May bee.

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What's black on the outside but yellow on the inside?

Ninja chicken.

What's the difference between me and a cardboard box?

A cardboard box isn't always empty on the inside. :(

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.