What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

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Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

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What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.