Valve Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

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Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

What Counting system does Valve use?

Trinary

What would Valve call the next world war?

A Global Offensive.

How many people does it take for Valve to change a light bulb?

Two at most.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

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Uranium Jokes More Uranium Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?

He got atomic ache.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A: A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

What's the best joke you ever heard?

For me, it's gotta be Emo Phillips' Baptist joke. Although to tell it you've gotta get his execution down.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why is a violin difficult to play?

Because it is fiddly!

What's going on in this movie?

Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.

World War Jokes More World War Jokes

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why does Euler's Number say it's "going number 2" when it pees?

Because its natural log is 1. I'll show myself out now.

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Babe Jokes More Babe Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do saunas remind some people of blonde's?

A: Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.

What's up with black people?

They're not black... And they're not people.