Where do you find monster snails?

On the end of monsters fingers.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A: a $20 bill

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Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

Why does it end with twenty?

he thinks to himself.