Where do you find monster snails?

On the end of monsters fingers.

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How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

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What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.