Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

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What does Supertramp do after buying rice?

They take the long-grain home.

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

because they were a rip off

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Why is the topmost floor the best place to drink in?

That's how you set the bar high.

Where is the best place to buy authentic shrunken heads?

Brazil

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How do you steal something from a crazy person?

You straight jack it.

Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!