Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

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Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

Where do Chicago football fans buy engagement rings?

De Beers

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Where is the best place to buy authentic shrunken heads?

Brazil

Where's the best place to explore?

Rome.

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What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.