Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

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Smooth Jokes More Smooth Jokes

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

M&M Jokes More M&M Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

Why did the monster go into hospital?

To have his ghoul-stones removed.

What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster spit?

It's saliva! IT'S SALIIIVA!!!"