Smooth Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

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Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

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D Jokes More D Jokes

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Why was the lesbian mad when she got her report card?

Cause she got a D

Tic Tac Jokes More Tic Tac Jokes

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

What's a tick's favorite food?

A tic tac

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How are babies like hinges?

They are things to adore

What is a Freudian slip?

A Freudian slip is when someone says one thing when thinking of amother.

Sea Lion Jokes More Sea Lion Jokes

What is the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

an electron

How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

Dig Jokes More Dig Jokes

What do you call a child that's good at digging?

A minor

What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches?

A paracetamole!

Asprin Jokes More Asprin Jokes

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

Why are asprins white?

Because they work.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog?

An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!

What's a homophobic child's worst nightmare?

A monster coming out of the closet

Telephone Jokes More Telephone Jokes

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler?

Ringworm!

What did the answering machine say to the telephone?

Take my word for it.