Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then.

Why did the nose run?

It did snot want to be late

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem , He sleeps at night.

When do cows go to sleep?

Pasture bedtime.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What do Saudi guys and girls have in common?

They all get stoned constantly.

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

nophiltrum

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why can't anarchists draw straight lines?

Because they don't have any rulers.

What is the most noble office supply?

The ruler!