Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

The tube sock under my bed.

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What do you call a person who sleeps next to dead bodies at night?

Morgue Attendant

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?

He thought he might get a kick out of it!

What separates the men from the boys in the Navy?

A crowbar.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why did Princess Diana divorce Prince Charles?

She was always told a ruler was 12 inches!

Why was the headmaster worried?

Because there were too many rulers in school!