Why did the judge throw out Bram Stoker's lawsuit?

His accusations weren't backed up by vampirical evidence

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What did the frustrated cannibal say?

Nothing he just threw up his hands.

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

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Where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife?

The jury store

What did the judge say to the attractive woman soaked in pee?

You're an eight.