Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What book you reading there?

Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum?

It drives me nuts.

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent."

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What do you call a Mexican wrestler that only fights during his 12:00 break?

A lunchador.

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

Kidnap Jokes More Kidnap Jokes

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

What do you call a Santa Claus who kidnaps people?

Santa Clown