Kidnap Jokes

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

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What do you call a Santa Claus who kidnaps people?

Santa Clown

What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?

Get in the trunk"

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans?

Being rescued by the Americans

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?

The pope died a virgin

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

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Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?

A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

What's the program jedi use to read pdf files?

Adobe wan kenobi

American Jokes More American Jokes

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

What do Americans call the summer holidays?

Ceasefire

Pope Jokes More Pope Jokes

What do The Pope & a Christmas Tree have in common?

The balls are just for decoration.

What do The Pope &amp a Christmas Tree have in common?

The balls are just for decoration.

1200 Jokes More 1200 Jokes

What do you call a Mexican wrestler that only fights during his 12:00 break?

A lunchador.

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Which author do the Gorillas love most?

Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Karen Jokes More Karen Jokes

What's your real name again?

Khaleesi (Kristen Wiig): Karen

What book you reading there?

Me: 'How To Kidnap A Coworker' CW:... Me: Not you, Karen. A pretty one.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Look ask me when I get back from India okay

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.