Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb?

Silly, Muslim Women aren't allowed to screw in light bulbs.

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Why did the prophylactic fly across the room?

It was peed off.

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.