Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?

He said it was too tight."

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

What did the blind, def and mute kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....