What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do priests and christmas trees have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration.

Who's there ! Census ! Census who ?

Census presents for Christmas !

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids?

Because it'd Krampus style.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

How often do lesbian gypsies get their hands read?

Every 28 days or so.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

How do you find a dirty cop?

Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers

Unwrap Jokes More Unwrap Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift