Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How are cats like empty wine bottles?

I'm probably gonna die surrounded by both.

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

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Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses?

There close to the ground.

Whats black and isn't working?

Black lives matter.

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Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

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Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh well, I'll figure it out later.