Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

Why did the superhero make a lot of shredded cheese?

It was for the grater good.

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What does Cam Newton have in common with a Fig Newton?

They are both soft and crumble under pressure.

What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas?

No pressure

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

How does a man keep his youth?

A: By giving her money furs and diamonds.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating