Why was the Robot angry at the engineer?

Because he screwed his wife!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)

How many Nickelback fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question! There's no such thing as Nickelback fans. (I will be hated by few)

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

How can you tell someone is an engineer?

They'll tell you! (Source: am an engineer)

What is 1 + 1"?

The mathematician says "2" The Physicist says "2, plus or minus 0.1" The engineer says "Probably around 2, but let's say 3 to be on the safe side".

Robot Jokes More Robot Jokes

What do you call a robot dressed in drag?

A transition metal.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.