Robot Jokes

What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?

A row bot.

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Why don't robots have brothers?

Because they all have trans-sisters

What do you call it when two robots miscommunicate?

A syntax error.

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.

Why was the Robot angry at the engineer?

Because he screwed his wife!

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What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What did the robot say to the gas pump?

Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!" I saw this in a Highlights magazine when I was a kid.

What do you say when a robot explodes into pieces?

Rest in pieces. I'll show myself out now.

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

What do you call a robot dressed in drag?

A transition metal.

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede." Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime.

What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged?

Mentally dis-cabled.

What do robots do at the rave?

They torque.

What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?

RoboClop....so sorry

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other?

Nothing personal."

What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?

A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a

Why do robots make bad lovers?

Nuts &amp bolts!

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose?

An olfactory reset.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot?

Nut and bolt

Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

Because they have trans-sisters.

Why are robots never afraid?

Because they have nerves of steel

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Yours tin-sincerely.

Why was the robot cold?

He was missing his winter gear

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance?

A Psy-borg.

Why do robots make bad boyfriends?

They just screw, nut, then bolt.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

Why did Mary fell from the swing ?

Because she hasn't got arms !

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you call an Chinese family with a pet dog?

Vegetarians. Source: I'm Chinese.

What's a chinese chef's favorite song?

I believe I can fry.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the shark cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!

Why'd the chicken cross The Road?

Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.

Prove Jokes More Prove Jokes

What's the last thing you want to see on the reddit frontpage?

This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam"

Circuit Jokes More Circuit Jokes

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

Why was the circuit arrested?

Because it was charged with battery!

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs?

Because, he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious