Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

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What do they call number 17 in black jack ?

The stepmother, because sometimes you want to hit her, even though you shouldn't

Why did the alcoholic chop off the little boy's legs?

He wanted his *Kidneys*.

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What do you call a tree that smokes weed?

Snoop Log

What do you call a piano composer that smokes?

Tarcoughski

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Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times?

Because they live under Iraq.

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

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Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher?

He only had one pupil.

Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?

She hated being microbe-managed.