Can I watch the TV?

Yes, but don’t turn it on.

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How do four whores sit on one chair?

They turn it over.

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

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How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

What does the last man on earth watch on tv?

Reruns

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What does 9/11 and owning CP have in common?

The government will watch you for the next 15+ years

What's better than watching a woman wrestle?

Seeing her box.