How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

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How best to save the iPhone from FBI?

Crack it before they hack it.

Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up?

Nutty Marietta!

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What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

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What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.