How can you tell that a politician lies?

His lips are moving

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when you have prostate cancer?

It's not hard.

How do you ask someone if they're Vegan?

You don't need to, they'll tell you

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met?

Pork and bologne sammiches.