How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What happened to the concussed gravedigger?

He lost the plot.

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation fetish?

William Shat-on-her

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

Why isn't there a Jared's for boys?

Oh wait, there is.

40 Pound Jokes More 40 Pound Jokes

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend